I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just had sex bonerless
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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