? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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