gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
