dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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