My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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