Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this beer tastes like vomit already
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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