PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
