You're so nebulous sometimes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize