now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
