My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
