So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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