I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize