And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
