Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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