it was like eating out sand paper
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
