i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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