then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize