I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
