ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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