Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
