You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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