I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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