Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize