normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
