I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Even my vagina gasped.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
