yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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