Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize