At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine