i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding