From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.