I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call