Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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