Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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