I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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