You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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