I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
