Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
