Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
