Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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