Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
