I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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