Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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