i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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