also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
