She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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