you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
