Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
