I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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