Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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