I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
