My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"