I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I gave a random lady a dildo