Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?