i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
