He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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