she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
