I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...