YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize