PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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