jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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