is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
