i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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